You May Be a Farmer If ?

Dusty

Junior Member
Messages
25
With Thanks to www.prairielinks.com

You May Be a Farmer If ?

Your dog rides in the truck more than your wife
You convince your wife that an overnight, out of province trip for equipment parts is a vacation
You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations
You have ever had to wash off in the back yard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house
You've never thrown away a 5 gallon bucket
You have used baling wire to attach a license plate
You have used a chain saw to remodel your house
You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population,herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday
You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a peace of equipment
You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops
You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway
You have buried a dog and cried like a baby
You have used a tractor front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs
You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers,and peel apples.
You wave at every vehicle whether you know them or not.
You always look when a vehicle passes your house, even at night.
You have used something other than paper as a toilet tissue.
You refer to farms by who owned them 50 or more years ago
You give directions to your farm by using area landmarks, not road numbers
Your wife agrees to observe Mothers' Day after the beans are planted
You have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house
Over 50% of your clothing came from feed or seed dealers
Family weddings and special events are planned around spring planting and fall harvest
You've been stopped by the police for a cluttered dashboard
The rusted out areas of your truck are sealed off with old T-shirts
You know checkoff is not a Russian diplomat
Your family instantly becomes silent when the weather comes on the news
You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.
You'll skip your cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season.
You can eat an ear of sweet corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
You don't bother to clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer, and the dog knows to stay out of your way.
You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.
It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
You can tell the difference between the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot.
The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.
You consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local Wal-Mart.
Your husband drives a friend home from the bar when he only lives 3 houses away.
You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
You know cow pies aren't made of beef.
Your early morning prayer covers rain, cattle, and pigs.
You consider a romantic evening driving through Hardees and renting a hunting instructional video.
You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.
You can tell it's a farmer working late in his field, know who it is, what they're doing, and not think it's a UFO.
Your nearest neighbor is in the next section, and you know what a section is.
You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.
You actually understand the geographical neccesity of correction lines
Your other vehicle is a Massey Ferguson
You have enough ball caps to match every shirt you own, but you only wear one so you don't get the others dirty.
During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids.
You are related to more than half the town.
You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do.
Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic.
You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.
There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
The local gas station sells live bait.
You go to the State Fair for your family vacation.
You get up at 5:30 am and go down to the coffee shop.
You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.
All your radio-preset buttons are country.
You try to find the cheapest room rates when going out of town.
Using the elevator involves a grain truck.
You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
You know cow pies aren't made of beef.
You wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light.
Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.
You know the code names for everyone on the CB.
You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
You wear your boots to church.
It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of feedlot apart.
The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.
You go to Wal-Mart for your Saturday shopping.
Your main drag in town is two blocks long.
You defend the beauty of being able to see the next town which is 20 miles away.
And finally, if given $1,000,000 you would keep right on farming. You'd farm differently, but you'd keep farming because that is who and what you are.

Can anybody add any more ?
 

Auctionguyyy

Junior Member
Messages
135
Your first choice to buy something is at an auction sale !!
 
 
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