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[SIZE=+2]You May Be a Farmer If ?[/SIZE]
- Your dog rides in the truck more than your wife
- You convince your wife that an overnight, out of province trip for equipment parts is a vacation
- You wear specific hats to farm sales, livestock auctions, customer appreciation suppers, and vacations
- You have ever had to wash off in the back yard with a garden hose before your wife would let you in the house
- You've never thrown away a 5 gallon bucket
- You have used baling wire to attach a license plate
- You have used a chain saw to remodel your house
- You can remember the fertilizer rate, seed population,herbicide rate and yields on a farm you rented 10 years ago, but cannot recall your wife's birthday
- You have fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a peace of equipment
- You have driven off the road while examining your neighbors crops
- You have borrowed gravel from the county road to fill potholes in your driveway
- You have buried a dog and cried like a baby
- You have used a tractor front-end loader as scaffolding for roof repairs
- You've used the same knife to make bull calves steers,and peel apples.
- You wave at every vehicle whether you know them or not.
- You always look when a vehicle passes your house, even at night.
- You have used something other than paper as a toilet tissue.
- You refer to farms by who owned them 50 or more years ago
- You give directions to your farm by using area landmarks, not road numbers
- Your wife agrees to observe Mothers' Day after the beans are planted
- You have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house
- Over 50% of your clothing came from feed or seed dealers
- Family weddings and special events are planned around spring planting and fall harvest
- You've been stopped by the police for a cluttered dashboard
- The rusted out areas of your truck are sealed off with old T-shirts
- You know checkoff is not a Russian diplomat
- Your family instantly becomes silent when the weather comes on the news
- You pick up all the free stuff at the State Fair.
- You'll skip your cousin's funeral for the first day of deer season.
- You can eat an ear of sweet corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
- You don't bother to clean up the dog's mess because it's just fertilizer, and the dog knows to stay out of your way.
- You know enough to get your driving done early on Sundays before the Sunday drivers come out.
- It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
- You can tell the difference between the smell of a skunk and the smell of a feed lot.
- The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.
- You consider a building a mall if it's bigger than the local Wal-Mart.
- Your husband drives a friend home from the bar when he only lives 3 houses away.
- You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
- Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
- You know cow pies aren't made of beef.
- Your early morning prayer covers rain, cattle, and pigs.
- You consider a romantic evening driving through Hardees and renting a hunting instructional video.
- You listen to "Paul Harvey" every day at noon.
- You can tell it's a farmer working late in his field, know who it is, what they're doing, and not think it's a UFO.
- Your nearest neighbor is in the next section, and you know what a section is.
- You know the difference between field corn and sweet corn when they are still on the stalk.
- You actually understand the geographical neccesity of correction lines
- Your other vehicle is a Massey Ferguson
- You have enough ball caps to match every shirt you own, but you only wear one so you don't get the others dirty.
- During a storm you check the cattle before you check the kids.
- You are related to more than half the town.
- You can tell the difference between a horse and a cow from a distance.
- Your car breaks down outside of town and news of it gets back to town before you do.
- Without thinking, you wave to all oncoming traffic.
- You don't buy all your vegetables at the grocery store.
- You don't put too much effort into hairstyles due to wind and weather.
- There's a tornado warning and the whole town is outside watching for it.
- The local gas station sells live bait.
- You go to the State Fair for your family vacation.
- You get up at 5:30 am and go down to the coffee shop.
- You have the number of the Co-op on speed dial.
- All your radio-preset buttons are country.
- You try to find the cheapest room rates when going out of town.
- Using the elevator involves a grain truck.
- You know you should listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
- Your excuse for getting out of school is that the cows got out.
- You know cow pies aren't made of beef.
- You wake up when it's dark and go to bed when it's still light.
- Your nearest neighbor is in the next area code.
- You know the code names for everyone on the CB.
- You can eat an ear of corn with no utensils in under 20 seconds.
- You wear your boots to church.
- It takes 30 seconds to reach your destination and it's clear across town.
- You can tell the smell of a skunk and the smell of feedlot apart.
- The meaning of true love is that you'll ride in the tractor with him.
- You go to Wal-Mart for your Saturday shopping.
- Your main drag in town is two blocks long.
- You defend the beauty of being able to see the next town which is 20 miles away.
- And finally, if given $1,000,000 you would keep right on farming. You'd farm differently, but you'd keep farming because that is who and what you are.